Four Random Challenge Shots
by TweenisodeOrange
Summary: A challenge issued for Halloween produces these four random oneshots. Not my best work, but whatever.
1. Curse

**Author's Note: Hey, I've got this late collection for a challenge from E350. It was supposed to be for Halloween, but it just so happened that the week of Halloween was also the week I had midterms. These were all churned out pretty fast, and I'm not really happy with a few of them. This one is ok... I guess.**

**Curse**

_What you call a curse it all in perspective_**  
**

Candace Flynn was having a rather weird week. It had all started, as usual, with an attempt to bust her brothers. It was supposed to have been a day out with her mom. She was supposed to relax.

"Candace, I want you to promise me that you will not try to bust your brothers, or _suffer the Pharaoh's Curse!_" Candace's mom had said.

"Fine, I promise I won't try to bust my brothers." The teen had promised. It actually went pretty well at first, but then… but then… Oh for Pete's sake, they were driving huge float down mainstreet. How could she _not_ bust them for that? And yet somehow she hadn't. They'd gotten away with is, as usual.

Candace had been bemoaning her failure when a fat guy dressed like an Egyptian tapped her shoulder.

"You Candace Flynn?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Curse you." And with that he walked away. The teen stared blankly at her mom.

"I warned you." Linda shrugged.

If that had been it, it wouldn't have been so bad. But an hour later, while she was texting Stacy, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Candace yelled to her family and opened the door.

"Curse you." The fat guy from before said in the same monotone.

"Hey, you already cursed me, like, an hour ago." Candace reminded him.

"And I will continue to do so until you break the Pharaoh's Curse." The man informed her. "See ya in an hour."

"What?" Candace cried, "Hey, hey come back here! You can't just follow people around cursing them! Hey!" But the fat Egyptian was already gone.

"Well, let's see how well you can curse me if I'm not here!" Candace grinned. She pulled out her phone.

"Hey Stacy, you wanna go to the mall in an hour?" She asked.

"Sure, but I thought you were going to the park to spy on Jeremy at the Mr. Slushy-Dog." Stacy replied.

"I thought I needed a break from my usual schedule." Candace explained. "You know what we should do? We should visit the most obscure and out-of-the-way shops while we're there."

"Candace, are you avoiding someone?" Stacy asked bluntly.

"Psh, no!" Candace scoffed, "I just thought it'd be fun to try something new!"

_One hour later…_

"Trying something new stinks!" Candace groaned, "Literally! All they sell here is _Organic Fertilizer_, a.k.a. _manure_!"

"You're the one who wanted to visit the most obscure and out-of-the-way shops at the mall." Stacy pointed out, "And my mom actually needs some of this for her vegetable garden."

"Fine…" Candace plugged her nose and entered. She hadn't walked past the first pallet of fertilizer when someone poked her on the back.

"Curse you." The pharaoh uttered.

"Aaahh!" Candace screamed. She ran out of the mall and jumped onto a bus that was about to leave.

"I've got a bus pass; just take me as far as you go!" Candace yelled at the driver as she waved her pass in front of his nose.

"Oooo-k." the driver closed the bus doors and drove off.

_Another hour later…_

"Last stop, we're turning around!" the bus driver called. Candace jumped out.

"Ha! An hour bus-ride out of town, let's see Mr. Curse-you find me out here!" Candace said smugly.

"Curse you" The pharaoh said as he walked behind her.

Screaming again, the teenage girl jumped onto another bus back home, ran into her house, into the basement, into a trunk with a hidden ladder and down into a secret room. Candace's "Panic-Room" She clutched her stuffed teddy.

"Ok, ok," She panted, "Calm down, Candace, there's no way he can find you down here. I'm safe." She waited a few seconds, half-expecting the dreaded words to echo from behind her. But there was nothing. Silence.

"Wow, I really _am_ safe! I guess I showed him; no one messes with Candace Flynn!" she cheered.

"Curse you." The monotone voice drifted down the ladder. Candace yelped.

"Ok, that's it, no more miss-nice-Candace!" She exclaimed.

She ran into the yard where Phineas and Ferb were just bidding their friends farewell for the day. It was getting dark and the sun was setting.

"Alright, where is he, where is he?" She growled with a maniacal edge.

"Where's who?" Phineas asked.

"That crazy cursing pharaoh!" she yelled hysterically.

"Oh, _that_ guy." Phineas remembered, "Yeah, he just left on a camel. I had no idea how _fast_ those were!"

"Oh, he'll be back!" Candace assured them, "Every hour, on the hour he's come and cursed me."

"Cool, what kind of curse?" Phineas asked.

"Oh, it's not a real curse, he just says 'curse you' and then leaves." Candace explained. "And he said he'll keep coming back until I _break_ the pharaoh's cures!"

"Well, do you want our help to break it?" her pointy-nosed brother asked.

"No! It's your fault I have this stupid cures in the first place! If mom had just seen your huge float, and known for once that I was right, I wouldn't have broken my promise!"

Phineas and Ferb shared a concerned look. "We're sorry. Are you sure helping you break the curse won't make it up to you?"

"No! I don't need your help; I don't want your help!" Candace insisted.

_The next morning…_

"Phineas, I need your help!" Candace begged her little brother that morning. "He knocked on my window, every hour, on the hour, until I opened it and then he said those words, those horrible words!"

"'Curse you'?" Phineas supplied.

Candace cringed, "Do not utter those sounds."

"Don't worry Candace, you won't have to hear them much longer." Phineas turned to his step-brother. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today."

_A while later outside the museum…_

"You may be wondering why I've asked you all to come here to the Danville Museum." Phineas began when the usual team, that is, Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford, had arrived. "I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Candace has been cursed."

Everyone gasped. "Whoa, does she have warts?" Buford asked excitedly.

"Oh, it's not that kind of curse. A guy is just following her around saying 'Curse You'." Phineas clarified.

"Oh." The others said. "You mean no warts? Man, I feel ripped-off!" Buford said with disappointment.

"The only way to get him to stop is to break the Pharaoh's Curse. Ferb figured this would be the best place to start looking." Phineas explained.

"You think we are going to find the way to break a curse in a modern museum?" Baljeet asked incredulously, "It is probably buried under several feet of sand in Egypt!"

"I'm confident we'll find something. The Danville Museum _does_ currently house an almost perfect replica of a mummy's tomb." Phineas reminded him.

"I'll get the Fireside Girls to come and give a hand!" Isabella offered.

"For their 'Break a Curse' badge?" Phineas asked.

"Oh, no, just for the 'Museum Exploration' badge." Isabella replied.

"Alright team, let's get cracking!"

Just before they entered the museum, the two step-brothers stopped. "Hey, where's Perry?" The pointy-nosed boy asked.

_Doobie-doobie-do-wah!_

"Oh, you're complaining to _me_ for giving _you _the cold?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz said to a sickly-looking teal platypus. "_You're_ the one who kicked me into the lake!" He then broke into a bout of coughing and fell back into his bed. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus."

_Anyways, back to the story_

Phineas, Ferb, and company were searching through the crazy museum looking for a way to break the Pharao's Curse. Things got a little crazy when Buford wrapped Baljeet up like a mummy and the Indian boy proceeded to chase several of the Fireside Girls around.

"I feel like there should be some sort of Scooby-Doo-esqe song playing in the background while this plays out." Phineas commented as the girls ran past him.

"I don't think that would transfer too well into Fanfiction." Ferb pointed out.

"Yeah, probably not." Phineas agreed.

The next time they ran past, Ferb grabbed hold of the wrapping coving Baljeet and pulled. The Indian boy spun around a few times before landing hard on his rear. By a contrived coincidence, he landed with just enough pressure on just the right tile to open a trapdoor underneath the whole group. They all tumbled down a slide until landing in a dimly lit room. Naturally, Baljeet was at the bottom of the pile.

"I think that this replica is _too_ nearly perfect." The poor boy groaned.

"Quit your whinin', if it weren't we'd have to spend a few hours flyin' to Egypt." Buford reminded him, "An' I don't got that kinda time to spare."

"Wow, look at these cobwebs and dust covering the hieroglyphics." Isabella wondered. "I don't think anyone's been here since they built this place!"

"Maybe this is just the place we've been looking for!" Phineas said optimistically, "What's it say Ferb?"

The taller of the step-brothers pulled out a laptop and took a few pictures of the glyphs. They were downloaded into the translating program. Ferb read it as it printed out. He looked up at the group… and handed it to Phineas.

"Oh, so that's it! That shouldn't be too hard." The pointy-nosed boy smiled. "Come on guys, we'd better go tell Candace.

_Back Home_

Candace was curled up in the fetal position on the couch. In the hour her brothers had been gone, the Pharaoh had come back and cursed her again. She'd gone a little axe crazy and chased him out of the yard with a rake. Another hour was swiftly approaching. Where were they? She couldn't take this insanity much longer. What if Jeremy found out?

Just then, Phineas, Ferb, and all their friends burst into the house leading a goat.

"Guess what, Candace? We found out how to break the Pharaoh's curse!" Phineas told her excitedly.

"Great! Thank you _sooooo_ much! I don't know how I can ever… oh no, don't tell me it has something to do with the goat!"

"You have to drink a gourd full of goat's milk." Phineas said apologetically, holding up a gourd.

"_What_?" Candace cried.

"While the Pharaoh is watching." Ferb added.

"You mean I have to see that guy _again?_" Candace yelled.

"Don't worry, we went through the trouble of bringing him here for you!" Isabella informed the hysterical teen as the Pharaoh walked in, "That way you can just get it over with."

Candace walked over to the Pharaoh with an ill look on her face. Buford handed her the gourd filled with goat's milk. She looked at it and genuinely looked like she was going to vomit. She took a deep breath, plugged her nose, and downed the milk in one gulp. After squirming with disgust, she looked at her tormenter to see if he would disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Finally." He said dully, and walked right out the door.

Everyone sat around in awkward silence for a few seconds. Buford finally broke it.

"That's it? Man, now I feel _really_ ripped off."

_Yeah, I really felt like writing for Phineas and Ferb at the time. I don't write alot for it despite the fact that it's one of my favorite shows ever._


	2. Control

**Author's Note: I'll admit I'm copying off E350 here. I can't help it. I freakin' LOVE Oregon Trail, and I figured if I was going to waste my time playing it, I might as well use it for this. Oh, Bold is me talking, Italics is what happened in the game, and normal font is of course the characters talking.**

**Control**

_Oregon Trail is a game of chance. You have little control over the outcome. That still does not explain how this happened._

**Loading the Wagon… Oh, how clever! **

Timmy, a Banker with $16000 came to Independence, Missouri in 1848 with his friends Cosmo and Wanda, their baby boy Poof, and Molly. He bought five yoke of oxen, 1000 pounds of food, twenty sets of clothing, fifteen boxes of twenty bullets, and three of each spare part. Overall, it cost him $820.

"So guys, you ready to go?" Timmy asked his companions.

"Where did you get all that money?" Molly asked him suspiciously.

"I'm a banker." Timmy explained.

"No you're not."

"Well, I got the money _from_ a bank."

_April 1, 1848. Out from Independace_

**Ok, let's get started then. I think we can start the journey out 'Strenuous'. Oops, I set it 'Grueling'… let's see how this pans out.**

"Timmy, are you sure we should have brought Poof along, this is a lot of hard work for him. Especially when we're going _about 17 miles a day_!" Wanda complained.

"Hey, it's a lot of work for me too!" Cosmo added.

"You guys think _you_ have it bad?" Molly asked dryly, "You guys can float. _We're_ the ones walking over hill and vale."

"Don't worry guys, we'll get used to the traveling in a few days." Timmy assured them. "With this pace we'll be in Oregon in no time!"

_April 7, Kansas River Crossing_

"Hey guys, want a tip for river crossing?" Ned Bigby asked the party as they rolled up to the river.

"Sure." Timmy said, "I heard river crossing is one of the hardest things on the trail."

"It is, if you don't know the right way to do it." Ned assured them. "Just remember, if the river is deeper than the wagon box, at about two-and-a-half feet deep, you won't be able to ford it."

"How deep is this river?" Wanda asked.

"About three feet deep." Ned said.

"See, talking to people _is _helpful!" Timmy told Molly, "I would have just forded it if he hadn't told me that!"

**In Oregon Trail II, the version I'm used to playing, you can still get away with it up to three-and-a-half feet, most of the time. If I hadn't talked to anyone, I probably would have forded it.**

_Timmy caulked the wagon and floated it across the river safely._

"Oh my gosh, we made it guys!" Timmy yelled in amazement when they reached the other shore.

"Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are, but you don't hear me yelling about it." Molly snarked.

_April 10, Big Blue River Crossing_

"Don't drive your animals too hard." Sam Manson told Timmy, "They look tiered. Are you treating them alright?"

"They're _fine_, the exercise is good for them!" Timmy insisted. Sam, and the rest of his party, glared at him, "But just to be on the safe side, I'll go back to strenuous."

_Timmy caulked the wagon and floated it across the river safely._

**Ok, we are seriously tempting fate here. They made it **_**again?**_

_April 13, on the Trail. Timmy passed a grave._

"Peperony and chease?" Wanda read in confusion.

"Oh, poor Chase! _WHY?_" Cosmo moaned.

"Get a grip, Cosmo." Molly demanded.

_April 15, Fort Kearney_

"Let's check our supplies before we buy anything." Molly advised.

"Good idea. Let's see, we have ten oxen, twenty sets of clothing, 300 bullets, three of each spare, and 790 pounds of food." Timmy inventoried, "Looks like we don't need to buy anything.

"But… _shopping_!" Wanda exclaimed. Molly gave her a withered look, and no more was said on the topic.

_April 24, Chimney Rock_

**I don't want to tempt fate, but this is going too—**

"DON'T SAY IT!" The party yelled as they came into Chimney rock. They looked around and camped next to another wagon-party full of people singing.

"Why are they singing _Auld Lang Sing_ in April?" Cosmo asked.

"That's what I'm wondering…" Timmy said. "Hey, wait a second, you know what _Auld Lang Sing_ is?"

_April 27, Fort Laramie_

"Hey, isn't that T_O's character, Erika?" Wanda asked as they pulled their wagon into the field outside the fort.

"Yep." Timmy confirmed, "She must be staying here in Wyoming."

"Actuall, I'm staying on the _other_ side of Wyoming." Erika said, "I'm here delivering a package of winter stocks."

"By the way, you guys need to be careful not to get caught in the snow." She advised them, "You got enough cloths?

"We happen to have four sets each." Timmy said proudly.

Erika cocked an eyebrow and left without saying anything else.

_May 1, on the Trail_

"So, I noticed our health has taken a drop. I decided we'd better slow down." Timmy announced, much to Molly, Wanda, and Poof's relief.

"But Timmy, what about the…" Cosmo began to object.

"It's _May, _I'm sure we can make it to at least Fort Hall in five months." Timmy assured him.

_May 5, on the Trail_

"Well, I see that everyone's gotten back to full health." Timmy said as the wagon trundled through some large sandstone formations.

"Poof, get down from there!" Wanda called to her young son. "You might…"

"Aaaaah!" Poof fell and landed on his shoulder.

"Oh NO!" Cosmo and Wanda cried.

"Wait a sec…" Molly thought out loud, "He floats! How'd he fall and break his arm?"

**Chuggaaconroy says Nintendo Logic. Or Apple Logic in this case.**

"There's a river just a little further down the trail" Timmy tried to calm his godparents down. "Maybe we should wait to rest there. That way we'll have plenty of water."

"Plenty of water?" Molly asked sarcastically. "It's raining. We should rest now."

_May 9, on the Trail. Poof has a fever_

"I knew we should have left him at home!" Wanda lamented.

"I knew we should have rested first." Molly said darkly.

"Ok, Ok!" Timmy cried, "We'll rest for five days, how about that?"

"But Timmy, what about Winter?" Cosmo asked worriedly. He was shut up by a death-glare from Wanda.

_May 14, on the Trail_

"Let's see how supplies are…" Timmy checked the wagon's inventory. "_355 pound of food? _We need to go _huntin'_!"

Molly and Timmy ventured about a mile off the trail in search of game. They were lucky enough to find a buffalo

_Shot 949 pounds of meat, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back._

"Wimp." Molly stated as they tramped back into camp.

"Oh, I don't see _you _carrying anything!" Timmy shot back.

**In Oregon Trail II, you can carry back 200 pounds of meat. Another reason I prefer the sequel.**

_May 17, Independence Rock_

"Let's graffiti the big rock guys!" Cosmo shouted. Timmy and a newly recuperated Poof cheered and ran off with him to find a blank portion of rock.

**Let us take a moment of silence for the men and women who died not far from here at Martin's Cove.**

"… Those people won't come through here for another ten years." Molly reminded T_O.

_**I SAID SILENCE!**_

_May 22, on the Trail_

"Bad water… no big…" Timmy murmured to himself as he checked the inventory. "335 pounds of food? We must _hunt_!"

This time Timmy and Molly brought Cosmo along with them, only after much begging on Wanda's part. She was tired of trying to keep him out of trouble, apparently.

"Yeah, so give him a gun and bring him out to the middle of the wilderness." Molly deadpanned.

"Maybe she's hoping he'll get shot, or mauled by a bear. That'd slow him down." Timmy reasoned.

They shot one buffalo before Cosmo scared off all the game trying to shoot a rabbit.

_Shot 860 pound of meat, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back._

"I'm going back for that wabbit!" Cosmo declared after they brought the meat back.

"Uh, Cosmo, are you ok?" Timmy asked. Needless to say, Cosmo scared the remaining game off.

_May 25, on the Trail. Timmy found some wild fruit._

"Aren't these strawberries a little green?" Wanda asked.

_May 26, on the Trail_

"Guys, our health is down again, and we have less than 400 pounds of food. There's only one thing to do. _Hunt_!"

_One day and no game later_

"Cosmo, you are never coming hunting with us again." Molly informed the green fairy.

_May 29, South Pass_

**You guys are going to Fort Bridger.**

"Are you sure?" Timmy asked T_O, "Cuz' it looks kinda out of the way.

**YOU ARE GOING TO FORT BRIDGER, OK?**

"… um, yes?"

Meanwhile, Molly and Wanda were trying to solve the food problem.

"Maybe we'll have better luck if we try trading for food." Wanda suggested.

"Hey, I'll give you a set of clothes for 109 bullets." Squidward offered.

"Actually, we need food." Wanda explained. "Hey, where are you going?"

"This isn't working." Molly surmised.

_May 31, out from South Pass. Timmy found some fruit._

"Oh boy, more green strawberries." Molly deadpanned.

_June 2, on the Trail_

"We're almost down to 200 pounds of food." Timmy told Molly, "We need to hunt."

"And Cosmo is not coming with us this time." Molly added.

They shot a bear and a squirrel

_Shot 172 pounds of meat, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back._

"So, this bear was running right at me…" Timmy told his godparents after they'd come back from hunting.

"It was 100 feet away." Molly corrected, "The _squirrel_ was running right at you."

_June 6, on the Trail. Poof has a fever._

"Again?" Molly asked incredulously.

"We're almost to the Fort, he'll make it." Timmy insisted.

_June 11, on the Trail. Wanda has Dysentery_

"Ew…" Cosmo held his nose.

"Must have been those green strawberries." Molly reasoned.

"It's only twenty-three more miles to the fort, we'll make it."

"Yeah, that's what you said about Poof." Wanda groaned.

"Hey, he's getting better!"

_June 14, Fort Bridger_

"So, what's so important about Fort Bridger?" Timmy asked T_O.

**Oh, you'll see.**

"Is that Dave, T_O**'**s other character?" Cosmo asked.

"Oh, that's right, Dave and Erika are staying here!" Timmy remembered.

**Yep, I put them here in blatant character insertion. I like Fort Bridger, because I've actually been there several times.  
**

Later, Timmy was checking the inventory.

"We have less than 300 pounds of food! I've gotta buy lots of food while we're here!"

_Timmy bought 300 pounds of food for $25._

"Oh, what the heck, let's buy 100 pounds more."

_Timmy now has $740._

Later that day, Dave invited everyone to come take a rest at his family's place.

"Great, we need a rest, our health is only fair." Timmy agreed.

"Are you sure, Winter is coming, ya know." Erika warned him.

"Give him a break, Erika, it's June." Dave rolled his eyes.

_Rested three days. Health is still fair._

"Maybe three more days." Timmy suggested.

_Rested three more days. Still fair._

"Oh well, we've gotta keep going." Timmy and his wagon party bid farewell to T_O's characters.

"I hate being an insert." Dave muttered.

"Oh, get over yourself." Erika rolled her eyes.

_June 22, on the Trail. Wanda has a broken arm_

"Again, you guys float, _how_ did you manage to fall and break your arm?" Molly asked.

"Keeping Cosmo out of trouble can be dangerous." Wanda explained.

_June 23, on the Trail_

"We can't rest here, the water's bad!" Timmy tried to explain to Cosmo why they weren't stopping.

"My wife has a broken arm! She needs rest!"

"We'll just go a little further. Calm down."

_June 27, on the Trail. Rested 3 days_

"It took a while to find a place with water!" Timmy explained to an upset Cosmo.

_June 30, on the Trail. Wanda has a fever. Rested three days_

"See what you did?" Cosmo yelled angrily at Timmy.

"Oh Cosmo, calm down, it's not that bad!" Wanda yelled at him from the wagon.

"We'll rest a bit, stop at Soda Springs, and rest some more." Timmy assured them.

_July 4, on the Trail_

"Yeah, it's Independence Day! Let's _PARTY!_" Cosmo cheered.

_July 5, lost the Trail for five days_

"That was _some_ party." Timmy stated as they wandered through the unbroken sagebrush.

_July 12, on the Trail. Wanda still has a fever._

"Your slave-driving pace and small rations have done this!" Cosmo accused Timmy.

"Cosmo, we're going as slow as we can and eating as much as we can. There's nothing else we can do!" Molly told him.

"Nothing, except hunt." Timmy said.

"… you are so weird." Molly deadpanned.

"I'm coming too!" Cosmo insisted.

"Cosmo, I don't think…" The green fairy fixed Timmy with a death-glare, "Ok!"

_Unable to shoot any meat._

"Ok, Cosmo, why don't you stay here with Wanda and take care of her this time." Timmy suggested.

"Uh, you guys don't have to do that for me…" Wanda protested weakly.

"Do you want food or not?" Timmy asked

_Shot 130 pounds of food, but was only able to carry 100 pounds back._

"That bear. Walked. Right. Up to. Us!" Timmy said, shaken.

"Yeah, scary, right?" Molly asked, not looking scared at all.

_July 17, Soda Springs. Rested six days._

"Guys, our health is poor. We've got to rest." Timmy informed the party.

_July 23, Soda Springs_

"Well, health is still only fair, but that's better than poor, and we need to hunt." Timmy said.

_Shot 100 pounds of meat._

"That bear weighed all of 100 pounds." Timmy said in amazement.

"Yeah, how disappointing." Molly remarked.

_July 27, on the Trail. One of the oxen is injured._

"Sheen! NO! How could this happen?" Cosmo lamented.

"Stupid prairie dogs." Molly muttered.

_July 30, Fort Hall. Rested three days._

"So, we need lots of food, a new ox, and that's it." Molly reminded Timmy as he walked into the fort.

Timmy came out later with 1000 pounds of food and $340.

"You spent _$400_ on _food?_" Molly asked him incredulously.

"We're both lousy hunters, I figured this would be easier." Timmy reasoned.

"We are no longer getting a new ox."

_August 5, on the Trail. Molly has dysentery. Rested three days._

"You make on joke and you're _dead_." Molly threatened.

"Poor, poor Molly." Wanda said.

"I suppose we should rest." Timmy said.

_August 11, on the Trail. Timmy found some wild fruit._

"Uh, Molly, are you sure you want to eat those?" Timmy asked her worriedly.

"I'm sick of eating bear meat." She replied moodily.

"Ok, fine, get dysentery again."

_August 21, Snake River Crossing_

"Great, we're all back to good health just in time for a river crossing." Molly said sarcastically.

"Well, the guide says we should ask an Indian guide to help us cross the river." Wanda informed the party.

"Ok." Timmy went to find an Indian guide, "_Sanjay_?"

"You must give me three sets of clothing in order to gain my assistance!"

"… Ok…"

**Wow, they make it again. We are just having too much lu—**

"Shut up!" "Don't jinx it!" Everyone yelled at T_O.

_August 21, on the Trail._

"Hey look! Someone left their wagon sitting on the side of the trail! And they also left twenty bullets and some neat bones!" Cosmo showed the party.

"Uh, let's just take the bullets and go, sweetie…" Wanda pulled her husband away, "Poof, put that down!"

_September 1, Fort Boise._

"DON'T SPEND ALL OUR MONEY ON FOOD AGAIN!" Molly warned Timmy as he went into the fort. He came out with 100 pounds of food and $295

"It was only $45!" Timmy insisted.

**Suddenly… **_**Blip!**_** Welcome to Oregon Trail!**

**What? NO! I was so close to Oregon, and with zero deaths! NOT FAIR!**

**Well, let's just say that Timmy's wagon party decided to just stay at Fort Boise instead of moving on to Oregon, and helped found the capital city of Idaho. And they lived happily ever after.**

_**Dang iiiiiiit!**_

_I was not happy when the game just stopped. I tried everything to get it back. I miss my Oregon Trail II.**  
**_


	3. Fear

**Author's Note: This one just sort of ends... and I'll admit I don't really like how it's put together. I like the general idea, and I might even expand it someday, but it just sort of jumps around**

**Fear**

_"That means the thing you fear the most is... fear." -Professor Lupin, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_**  
**

Fear is a powerful thing. It can be used to manipulate others. It can get in the way of achieving a dream. They say one who is in control of their fear is in control of one's universe. That is why man Wizarding schools start classes with Bogarts early in magical education.

"Ok, class today we're going to be learning about Bogarts, and how to handle them." Ms. Fowl told her class. It was a mixed group of first-timers, in and around eleven years old, and a few veteran students in their teens to show them how it's done. "Can anyone tell me what a Bogart does?" To no one's surprise, Jimmy Neutron answered without even bothering to raise his hand.

"A Bogart is a formless shape-shifter than can take the form of whatever its prey fears most. Once it has reduced you to a blubbering baby, it drains your fluids and slinks back into a dark, confined space. They've never…"

"Yes, thank you Jimmy, let's give the other students the chance to answer a few questions." Ms. Fowl interrupted him. "Now, who can tell me how to counter a Bogart?" Everyone was quite for a few seconds. The teens waiting in the back sighed. Jenny Wakeman even went so far as to raise her hand, but it was ignored. Finally, a girl in the front row got the guts to answer.

"Aren't they weak to laughter?"

"Yes, that's correct, Isabella." Ms. Fowl confirmed. "Which is why we've been learning the _Ridikulous _charm this week." Several students muttered, "Oh yeah, I knew that." Under their breaths.

Timmy Turner raised his hand. "Is it true that if a Bogart turns into a Dementor you can actually defeat it with a _Patronus_?"

"Yes," Ms. Fowl said. Many students looked very excited, "But the American Magic Educational System isn't paying me to teach you that." The students' faces dropped.

"Instead, I've asked some of the older students to give you a demonstration of how it's done. Uh, Mr. Fenton, would you like to go first?"

Danny stepped forward to the front of the classroom where an old suitcase was sitting on Ms. Fowl's desk. He pulled out his wand and opened the luggage up. A rather freaky-looking ghost with flaming white hair sprung out. Danny looked like he was about to panic, but he steeled himself and pointed his wand directly at its face.

"_Ridikulous!"_ He shouted. The freaky ghost was shoved into a fuzzy bumblebee costume. It looked quite confused. Everyone burst out laughing, Danny laughing loudest of all, as if he was saying "Take _that!_" to the thing. He slammed the suitcase shut and made room for the next demonstration.

"Very good, Ms. Wakeman, if you could go next?" Ms. Fowl asked.

Jenny opened up the suitcase just like Danny had, wand drawn. A very creepy looking mechanic, covered in oil-stains, popped out. He wielded a wicked looking hack-saw, and was poised to strike. Jenny's eyes were wide with fear, but she steadied her wand.

"_Ridikulous!_" she exclaimed. The mechanic was washed over in a wave of bubbles. When they cleared, they revealed a sparkly clean creep in a diaper. Once again, the classroom filled with laughter. Jenny joined Danny at the back of the classroom.

"Mr. Rivera, would you like to go next?" Ms. Fowl turned to the next teen in the back.

"Sure!" Manny walked cockily up to the front of the classroom. He opened the luggage with confidence… and quickly jumped back in fear. A _huge_ green monster with disgusting teeth and metal wrecking ball in place of one arm rose from the suitcase. It let out an ear-splitting roar. Manny closed his eyes and fired the charm off blindly. It just barely hit the monstrosity, but it was enough to set it on fire like it'd been doused in gasoline. The monster began running around in panicked circles. When the Bogart had been shut back up in the suitcase and the laughter had died down, Ms. Fowl thanked Manny.

"Just remember to aim next time!" She looked to the last two teens. "Ms. Possible, if you please."

"No big." Kim opened the case with her wand ready. A roach that barely fit in the room emerged. Kim cringed. A few other kids in the room cringed along with her. "_Ridikulous!" _She yelled. It shrank down to regular size and was flicked back into the suitcase by an invisible force.

After much applause for the flair of getting it back into the case, Ms. Fowl invited the last teen up. "Mr. Stoppable, it looks like it's your turn."

A murmur rushed through the class. This guy wasn't in their class, but he still had a reputation for screwing things up on a regular basis. The kids took a few steps back from the suitcase.

Ron opened the case. A huge monkey appeared. Although, to call it a monkey might not be entirely accurate. It was a disgusting, hairy monstrosity with an ear-splitting shriek and ugly yellow teeth. Its eyes glowed a disturbing yellow, and the smell that came off it was enough to make a few kids in the front row choke. Ron pointed his wand calmly, "_Ridikulous_!"

The demonic monkey was suddenly kicked away by another large creature. It was hairless and pink, with big front teeth and long claws.

"Boo-yah!" Ron pumped his fist in the air. The class broke into applause. Who'd have guessed the screwy guy was the one who'd mastered his greatest fear?

_Let's see just how many cartoon characters I can stick into the Harry Potter Universe across the pond. Sorry, I've just been watching too much Kim Possible this last month._


	4. Wrong

**This idea came to me as soon as I read the topic. I couldn't think of anything else, despite the fact that I really don't like the story I structured around it. Sorry for inserting my characters again.**

**Wrong**

_There is nothing more wrong than Rocky Mountain Oysters. _

Erika was typing away at her laptop, trying desperately to finish her midterm paper so she could go to the movie that night. She has paused to think how to word something when she heard some voices outside her window.

"So, what are Rocky Mountain Oysters?" Erika got up with a start and ran to the window. Timmy, Manny, and Jenny were sitting on the bench outside the library, looking at a flyer. Erika rushed out to talk to them.

"What are you guys looking at?" She asked them with a strained voice.

"Oh we were just checking out this poster I found in the mail today." Manny explained. He handed the flyer to Erika. It was an invite to a Rocky Mountain Oyster cook-off. Erika looked at the three on the bench.

"Do any of you even know what Rocky Mountain Oysters are?"

"That's what I was asking Jenny." Timmy replied. Jenny shrugged.

"Oysters from mountain lakes?" She guessed.

Erika cringed. "No, I _wish _it was just that. Eugh…"

"Why, what is it?" Everyone asked her excitedly.

"You don't want to know." The teenage girl asserted.

"Oh come on, we can handle it." Manny assured her.

"I said you don't want to know." Erika insisted, "Now, who sent you…" She trailed off as her cousin Dave walked up.

"Hey Erika, you mom wants you to come home for dinner." He spied the flier in her hand. "What'cha got there?"

"Someone was trying to invite Manny to a Rocky Mountain Oyster cook-off." Erika explained. Dave laughed.

"Erika won't tell us what they are." Timmy told the older boy.

Dave smirked. "Yeah Erika, tell them what they are."

"I am not going to discuss something so sick and wrong. I feel like I need to throw up just thinking about it." Erika folded her arms.

"Fine, I'll tell them." Dave said, "They're steer—"

"DAVID!" Erika shouted at him, "This is going online!"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Don't call me David…" He muttered while he pulled out a pen and wrote it on the flyer.

Jenny, Manny, and Timmy gasped.

"That is sick." Jenny literally pulled out some bleach and poured a little on her head.

"You were right, I didn't want to know." Timmy agreed with Erika.

"That's got to be the grossest thing I've ever heard of." Manny said blankly. "…Cool!" Dave gave him a high-five. Erika face-palmed.

"So, like I was saying, who on Earth sent this to you?" Erika asked.

"I don't know, it didn't have a name on it." Manny said.

"Does it have an address?" Dave grabbed the poster from his cousin. "Hey, this is Dag and Norbert's address!"

"Oh, they're finally getting you back for that April Fool's Day prank last year!" Timmy elbowed Manny.

Erika wondered if she was surprised that the beavers would stoop this low for a prank. She concluded that no, she wasn't.

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" Dave asked.

Manny thought for a moment. "I think I've got a pretty good plan…"

_If you really want to know what Rocky Mountain Oysters are… How do I put this cleanly… They're the reproductive organ of a steer that has been prepared to look and taste like oysters. At least that's what I've been told. I've never really seen any Rocky Mountain Oysters. I make a point of avoiding the reproductive organs of steers. Have fun with the cliffhanger.  
_


End file.
